Sorry...

  I'm sorry to those of you who want to read my blog frequently.  Yes, I have a lot of posts ready to write, but at the same time I've just been a little down/frustrated/sad lately.  I wish Harper Kate was "normal" so many days, yet I love her just the way she is.  I wish Harper Kate didn't have seizures, yet I can't imagine life without them.  I wish Harper Kate could look in my eyes and know how very much I love her and she could say it back, yet I don't know if I'll ever hear those coveted words come out of her mouth!  I think it's the month of January.  While the weather has been so beautiful here, I wish we would at least have a winter.  The sunshine has tried to brighten my attitude, but some days I just am "down."  I wish I knew how to explain it to people.  It's not that I sit around moping all day long feeling sorry for myself.  That would not do ANYONE any good.  And it isn't that I don't feel God's love surrounding me every day.  I don't know...It's a strange thing this life I'm living.
  On a positive note we have been incredibly blessed with so many friends we've met in Newnan.  They are wonderful and I couldn't ask for better people to support, love and care for us as each one of them have.  Harper Kate has a sweet friend named Hannah who is exactly 1 week younger than her.  She is an absolute doll and her mom has been an incredible inspiration for me.  While I have been down, God has gently, but constantly reminded me that our situation could be much harder.  You see, Hannah should be a little sister ( and while she still is) her big sister is in heaven.  I strongly encourage you to read her blog.  I  get so much of my strength from reading her blog every day.  I look at Jessica & Peter knowing they miss their sweet Elizabeth every day and yet you wouldn't know it.  I look at them and feel blessed that I still have my sweet angel with me.  When we made a trip to the hospital a couple weeks ago (more on that later), God once again reminded me to give thanks for my situation.  There was this man I rode the elevator with.  He asked why we were there, so I told him.  I asked the same question, knowing we would leave in a couple days.  He informed me his 2 1/2 year old little boy, Garrett, had just found out he had leukemia.  Can you imagine?  I really can't!  I can't imagine spending so much time up at the hospital.  I found myself quickly thanking God for pneumonia!  All that to say, that while I feel sad some days, I also find myself blessed.
  Last week at my Bible Study I attend on Thursday's I broke down with my small group.  I sat there, surrounded by women who love Harper Kate & me dearly.  They each sat there, crying with me, then each of them in their own way, whether with words or a gentle look each encouraged me more than any of them will ever know.  My leader read the Jesus Calling devotion for that day.  I truly believe it was meant just for me that day.  I'll leave you with it, in hopes it will encourage one of you.
  No worries...more exciting & positive posts coming soon I promise!  :)   Harper Kate's first Christmas, New Years at the beach and coming Feburary 11.....HER FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!

"Give up the  illusion that you deserve a problem-free life.  Part of you is still hungering for the resolution of all difficulties.  This is a false hope!  As I told My disciples, in the world you will have trouble.  Link your hope not to problem solving in this life but to the promise of an eternity of problem-free life in heaven.  Instead of seeking perfection in this fallen world, pour your energy into seeking Me: the Perfect One.
  It is possible to enjoy Me and glorify Me in the midst of adverse circumstances.  In fact, My Light shines most brightly through believers who trust Me in the dark.  That kind of trust is supernatural: a production of My indwelling Spirit.  When things seem all wrong, trust Me anyway.  I am much less interested in right circumstances than in right responses to whatever comes your way."