Monday, July 11, 2011

The Greatest Blessings

  One of the greatest blessings we could have received during these 3 weeks came from one of my best friends, Leigh.  The night of Natalie's wedding, the day after we found out about Harper Kate, Leigh gave me a book called I Will Carry You.  Todd & Angie Smith had a baby, with severe medical problems, that Angie carried to term, then lost the baby a few hours after she was born.  The book is about their journey.  Todd is the lead singer for the christian band, Selah.  The song Todd wrote about their journey is playing today on the blog.  On our way back to Nashville from Birmingham, the first weekend after we heard the news, I began to read the book aloud to Jarod in the car as we drove.  We read the entire book on our trips in the car to & from Birmingham those 3 weeks.  To read someone else's journey that felt very similar to mine at the time brought great peace.  She communicated so many feelings that I was having.  I cried through the entire thing.  I remember Angie sharing a letter she wrote to her daughter in the book.  One of the things that stuck out to me most was how she wanted her daughter to know about her mom, and in the letter asked God to make sure her daughter knew all the details about her.  As much as that broke my heart, that my daughter might not know everything about her mom, it brought comfort that I could ask God to make sure that He told her.  Angie ministered through that book in ways I can't describe and I am so grateful to Leigh for giving me that book.
  Another blessing during those three weeks came from our fathers.  Jarod and I are blessed to have two fathers who love us more that we could ask or imagine, and who more importantly, were there for us in a time where we literally did not know what to do.  They were not judgemental about what decision we should make, but understanding and patient.  Both, without being asked, wrote their first grandaughter letters during those 3 weeks.  Without sharing specifics from either, I will say that both communicated their undying love for that child and how much they were praying for her.  We have both letters and trust & hope that one day Harper Kate will be able to read on her own those special letters written to her before she was even born.
  One last special thing I wanted to share were the lyrics to a song my dad heard on the radio one morning on his way to work.  He said he was listening and had tears in his eyes.  He knew the song was meant for Harper Kate.  He called WDJC, the local radio station, to ask what the name of the songwriter was and who sang it.  He sent it to me that day.  Since then, I've claimed the line "show her what it means to be loved" for Harper Kate.  If she knows anything on this earth, she WILL know what it means to be loved.  Believe me, this little girl has no question in her mind that people love her.  I've posted the lyrics below.
   There were so many wonderful things people gave us or did for us during this time, I can't possibly mention them all specifically.  These three weeks were a journey I will never forget.  I appreciate your patience as I have re-lived them for myself so that I never forget the life lessons God taught me through this trial.  As I move on to more of Harper Kate's story, I trust that you will continue to see God's providence and never failing love to His children.

 "What it means to be loved" by Mark Schultz

For five months and eight days my wife and I had waited
Gettin' ready for our baby girl
But when he called the doctor said I need to see you
and could you come in soon
then something died inside of me to sit with him and hear
the tests that said our baby may not live to be a year
then turnin' to my wife and he said "whata you wanna do?"
and she said...

I wanna give her the world
I wanna hold her hand
I wanna be her mom for as long as I can
and I wanna live every moment until that day comes
I wanna show her what it means to be loved

so we spent each day, watchin' every minute
and prayin' for our baby girl
and I will not forget the way I felt that moment
when she came into this world
but they took her from the room just as soon as she was born
and watchin' through a window I could see her holdin' on
when a voice inside me said...

I wanna give her the world
I wanna be her dad

I wanna hold her close for as long as I can
and I wanna live every moment until that day comes
I wanna show her what it means to be loved

I said everyday
we've got to bring her home
she's been out to prove the doctors wrong
oh and you should see her now
she's as pretty as her mom
and theres a boy at the front door waiting just to take her to her high school prom...

and he wants to give her the world
wants to hold her hand
and someday she may get a wedding band
but she's gunna live every moment until that day comes
and we're gunna show her what it means to be loved

Oh yeah (what it means to be loved)

show her what it means to be loved
what it means to be loved


  1. Thank you for sharing your heart, Courtney! I have no doubt that Harper Kate knows how very much she is loved and I can't wait for you to know how much she loves you as well!! She is a blessing to all who hear her story! The words to the song are incredible and I'm so glad you shared them! I love you!

  2. Courtney... the first time I heard the song I cried like a baby because I felt the song was written for Harper Kate!!! God has blessed you & Jarod with precious Harper Kate and she is very blessed to have you both as her parents!! God knew you & Jarrod were the perfect people to love her up and give her all the love she will ever need. I pray for your sweet miracle everyday and thank God that YOU are her mother because she deserved the best so that is what God provided for her on this earth. I am so proud of you and Jarrod for being so devoted to Harper Kate and so thankful to you both for sharing her with the rest of us. Please tell her baby Noah is praying for her too as our "miracle" babies have to stick together and give God all the glory. We love all of you so much and will continue to praise God for giving the NCF family such a blessing in Harper Kate!

  3. Carolyn & Kim. Thank you so much for reading and for your encouragement, love & prayers. HK is a special gift and I love sharing her story. Please feel free to share with others as we want this to minister to others who need some encouragement. :) Love you both so much!

  4. I think I've learned my lesson. It's to stop reading your blog at work, because your words, your heart, and your faith move me to tears every time. I am so glad you are sharing your story, because God is absolutely receiving glory from it! I am praying for you, Jarod, and Harper Kate. I hope to see you and meet your precious one at a tailgate in the Fall!